College Advice

Dear Baby Brother-

Going out-of-state for college is a genius move and I’m excited for you.  Being so far away from home will be terrifying and thrilling.  You will encounter new ideas and different kinds of people and your brain will grow and learn and develop more in the next four years than it did in the past eighteen years.  I know you'll do fine, but since I'm the oldest (and the bossiest), I couldn't let you leave without giving you one last list of instructions:

1.              Stay in touch with your big sister.  She loves you and thinks the world of you.

2.              Don't pick your best friends or your girlfriend or your study buddies the first week of school.  It's mind-boggling, but the prettiest, most talented girls who starred in all the high school musicals won't be very popular in college.  (In fact, they'll probably drop out and become property managers or hairdressers.)  High school jocks don't do very well either.  Because its all so topsy-turvey in the beginning, just sit back and watch.  Give it a couple weeks before you become enmeshed with any one person or group. 

3.              Don't do anything irrevocable in your early twenties.  Hands down, this was the best advice anyone ever gave me, and I'm passing it on to you.  No tattoos, no weddings, absolutely no getting anybody pregnant.  Don't join a church or quit a church.  Don't accumulate credit card debt.  Don't write anybody off.  Don't put naked pics of yourself (or anybody else) on the internet.  You're changing a lot right now and you'll stunt your growth if you lock yourself into anything irrevocable before your 25th birthday. 

4.              Call Mom every Sunday.  She's paying the bills and she deserves it.

5.              Go to classes.   Even if your professor doesn't speak understandable English--and many of them won't--it gets you in the habit of showing up.  It will seem like a waste of time, but go anyway.  One day you'll have a job and you'll be glad you've already mastered the skill of showing up for meetings that seem like a waste of your time. 

 

6.              Always wash your whites first.  That way, if a roommate used bleach in the load before yours, it won’t ruin your other clothes. 

7.              Don't fall in love with the first girl (or boy) you meet.  You are an amazing guy and there will be many more down the road.

8.              Don't marry the first person you have (safe) sex with. (Safe) sex is new and fun.  But (safe) sex isn't the same as love.  And a happy (safe) sex life won't necessarily make for a happy marriage or civil union. 

9.              Safe sex is the only way to go.  Don’t rely on a girl (or a boy) to make it safe.  Girls (and boys) are people, and sometimes, people lie. Whatever you choose to do in your free time, make sure you are responsible for keeping it safe.

10.          Remember that your job is to study.  You aren’t working full-time; you’re going to college.  You should be spending at least 40 hours a week in class, preparing for class and studying for exams.  Study hard and do great things!

In the end, you may never use the information you learn in college--lots of people don’t--but you will be able to rely on each of the tools you'll develop there.  So, take advantage of this time and cultivate useful skills and healthful habits.  And stay in touch with your sister.

Sincerely,

SEE