Dear Ms. Greene:
I regret to inform you that your book recommendation
privileges have been temporarily suspended. Please be aware that this
decision was not made lightly. However, after your recent recommendation
of The Orphan Master’s Son by Adam Johnson, I feel I have no choice
but to set aside your other reading suggestions at this time.
As you may recall, The Orphan Master’s Son tells
the story of Pak Jun Do, a resident of a work camp for orphans. As he
grows up, Jun Do navigates the shifting rules, arbitrary violence, and
baffling demands of North
Korea in order to stay alive. At
the end of the first half of the book, Jun Do disappears into the jail system
and resurfaces as a new character in the second half of the book. Driven
to the absolute limit of what any human being could endure, Jun Do rivals Kim
Jong II in an attempt to save the woman he loves. But, because this story
takes place in North
Korea , it does not end well . . .
To be clear, Ms. Greene, I am not partial to happy
endings. (In fact, on a five-star scale, I automatically deduct a star
for any book that ends in a marriage proposal or a wedding.) But I have
my limits. Professional kidnapping. Militarized sexual
assault. Whaling. Torture. An infirmary where sick soldiers
and the elderly are housed briefly until their blood can be drained from them
for use by the military. Brain washing. Dog farms. Enslavement
(and death) of any suspected homosexual. Famine. Suicide. Filicide.
Parricide.
My stomach is still turning.
Ms. Greene, next time you describe a book as “VERY
intriguing,” please note that you are intrigued by violence. And also, it
would be helpful to know that you are not offended by gruesome scenes of
torture and abuse. I recommend that you incorporate a simple disclaimer:
Warning: This book is dark. And violent. You will have nightmares. You will be exposed to things you wish you could forget. You won’t be able to forget.
While you consider the above recommendation, I will be
reading light and fluffy books in an attempt to get over the trauma of reading The Orphan
Master’s Son. If that fails, I may seek psychological treatment for
post-traumatic stress disorder. What I
will not be doing is recommending The Darkest Book I’ve Ever Read to anyone I know. In fact, I will specifically advise other dog lovers not to
read this book.
During this moratorium on book suggestions, please review
your reading lists and reconsider all other recommendations. Upon receipt of your
agreement to include a disclaimer on future reviews about novels containing unimaginable
horrors, your book recommendation privileges will be reinstated.
Sincerely,
SEE
